Bad Clown in an Egyptian Bar
Someday I'll explain this...the story of Corko's unusual night in the seaside town of Ismalia. Bad clowns and a smitten Tourism Minister. A tale of drinking and woe.
Heart Stopping Heaps of Doughy Goodness
2 cups of self-rising flour. (White Lily gives them that old school, deep south funk)
½ teaspoon of salt
3 ½ tablespoons of lard (Yes, lard.)
2/3 cup whipping cream
1 cup of buttermilk (maybe more)
Some all-purpose flour
Tablespoon of chilled butter
Crank the oven up to 450 F.
Dump the self-rising flour into a big bowl. Mix in the salt. Work the shortening or lard and a tablespoon of butter into the flour with a fork. This is the hard part. You really have to cut that stuff in, until the flour has the consistency of crumbs. Once that’s done, dig a little bowl in the center of the flour, and pour in the whipping cream, then the buttermilk. The trick is this – the dough absolutely must be wet, borderline soupy. If it looks like cottage cheese, you’re good.
Spread your all purpose flour onto a cutting board. Plop your gooey dough onto the board, and work it gently and very briefly. Pat it down to a ½ inch thickness, sprinkle it with flour, and cut our your biscuits. You can use a straight sided glass for this, if you don’t have a biscuit cutter. (and who the hell does?) Drop your biscuits onto an ungreased cookie sheet. For crusty sided biscuits, leave a half inch or so between them.
Throw ‘em in the oven. It takes ten to twelve minutes. When they're golden on top, shit's about to get real.
Eat wearing bib-overalls and listening to some Johnny Cash. Or the Clash. Or Elizabeth Cook. (Check her out if you haven't heard her stuff - she rocks. And she's my cousin.) Fry up some chicken and slow cook a pot of soup beans if you're serious.
Welcome, my friends, to biscuit heaven.
½ teaspoon of salt
3 ½ tablespoons of lard (Yes, lard.)
2/3 cup whipping cream
1 cup of buttermilk (maybe more)
Some all-purpose flour
Tablespoon of chilled butter
Crank the oven up to 450 F.
Dump the self-rising flour into a big bowl. Mix in the salt. Work the shortening or lard and a tablespoon of butter into the flour with a fork. This is the hard part. You really have to cut that stuff in, until the flour has the consistency of crumbs. Once that’s done, dig a little bowl in the center of the flour, and pour in the whipping cream, then the buttermilk. The trick is this – the dough absolutely must be wet, borderline soupy. If it looks like cottage cheese, you’re good.
Spread your all purpose flour onto a cutting board. Plop your gooey dough onto the board, and work it gently and very briefly. Pat it down to a ½ inch thickness, sprinkle it with flour, and cut our your biscuits. You can use a straight sided glass for this, if you don’t have a biscuit cutter. (and who the hell does?) Drop your biscuits onto an ungreased cookie sheet. For crusty sided biscuits, leave a half inch or so between them.
Throw ‘em in the oven. It takes ten to twelve minutes. When they're golden on top, shit's about to get real.
Eat wearing bib-overalls and listening to some Johnny Cash. Or the Clash. Or Elizabeth Cook. (Check her out if you haven't heard her stuff - she rocks. And she's my cousin.) Fry up some chicken and slow cook a pot of soup beans if you're serious.
Welcome, my friends, to biscuit heaven.